Food Doesn’t Help

Sometimes I struggle with what to write because I don’t want to write too much, but I’m just going to be myself. 🙂

I’m an emotional eater.

That’s why I’m overweight.

I’ve been really stressed out for a little while recently, and it’s showing in my weight. I know I’ve gained a few pounds. I’ve been scared to go to the gym and step on the scale, so I don’t know how much I’ve gained, but I’m guessing it is 3-5 pounds or so.

I’ve been stressed because I’ve found that something that I thought was a certain way actually isn’t that way at all and it was pretty shocking and hurtful. On top of that, I’ve been working really hard but I’m really working hard to maintain my workload because I don’t want to get behind. But because of that, I’m behind on school work and reading, and I just feel really alone in the world. This is not a good place for an emotional eater.

In times like these, there are a few things that I try to keep in mind.

1) Food Doesn’t Help.
What is it that is bothering me? If I take the time to pinpoint it, I could google it and see if there’s a life coach video that talks about how to deal with it. But it hurts to sit and wallow in it, when I could do something to distract myself… like have some chips. Should I just have some fizzy water with ice? These are the thoughts that go through my head when I turn to food, but at least it’s a step in a healthier direction. The problem though, is that I don’t want to feel bad, I don’t want to sit and feel bad/hurt while I try to figure out the underlying reason why I feel that way. I think this is the root of emotional eating.

2) Is there a way I can use my brain to turn this around?
This thing I’m upset about, alright, there has to be someone who has gone through it and dealt with it without turning to food. How? Should I google it? LOL. I google everything. It helps 🙂

3) So how did I get this coping mechanism? I don’t know.

I think working through it and overcoming it means that I have to feel bad when I feel bad, and work through it.

Eating, as a person who is trying to lose weight knows well, will only make things worse. It will make it harder to lose weight. It won’t help. It’s a double-whammy.

I think that knowing I’m not the only one who feels sad and alone, worried about money, worried about my job, stressed about doing badly in school, horrified about being fat, having not many friends because I spend all my time working etc, being almost 30 and having no boyfriend…. knowing that I’m not the only person going through these things helps. There are entire TV shows about people who are going through these things.

I think I just need to focus on what’s good in my life.

Focus on what I want to do to be healthier. Do things that are good for me, that are nourishing in the truest sense, like going to the gym, making a meal plan of healthy well-balanced, calorie-appropriate food, and drinking lots of water. Being good to myself helps.

I realized today as I was cooking dinner — it’s guaranteed that I’m going to be hurt again in my life. I can’t avoid it; no one can. I certainly don’t want to function based on a wacked-out coping mechanism that will only make me fat. So if someone says something nasty and mean to me, I’ll just remember that they are showing the negativity in themselves. If I have done something inadvertently to garner that reaction from them, I can reflect on it and not do it again in the future. Simple as that. And if what they said is unwarranted, well then that’s their problem. And I just have to surf that wave and not let it affect me.

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