Today, I found out I weigh 240 pounds.

I had weighed myself on the scale they’re selling at Costco, but it gave me my weight in kilograms, and I was like “eh,” not knowing what 109.1 kg is. So today, 3 days later, I decided to do an online kg-lb conversion, and when I saw how much it was in pounds, I was horrified and worried. I knew I had gained some more weight since I the last time I weighed myself, which was in May of this year, but I couldn’t imagine it had gone up that much.

Then, I started frantically playing a game of spider solitaire on my computer because I couldn’t focus on anything else. Click click click click…. Just so I wouldn’t really freak out. Then I decided to write.

And honestly, having just written only this much, I feel better.

I know I really have to take some action.

I’m going to look in my Nutrition textbook and figure out a meal plan for 1500 calories/day. One of my Nutrition assignments was to log my food for three days and keep track of the calories, time of day I ate, and what my reason was for eating, and then do a diet analysis. I realized at that time that just based on intuitive eating, I was eating around 2000 calories per day. And at that time, it seemed like a lot of food and I was surprised it was only 2000 calories.

Another thing my Nutrition class has helped me with is balancing meals. I’ve been making more effort than I used to as far as making sure there is whole grains (healthy carbs), healthy fats, protein, some veg, and some fruit with each meal and it has made a difference. Now I just need to take it a step further and REALLY figure out options for each meal that is do-able.

The other side of this is exercise. The thing I dread. The worst thing is going to the gym and feeling all flubbery on the treadmill. When I’m really determined about going to the gym though, I stay strong by reminding me I’m doing this for myself, and I don’t care what I look like. But I’m going to start by making a more conscious effort to move more. Fall is my favorite season, so I think I’ll go for a walk around the lake one of these days.

The important I need to keep in mind is to move more, and make each action I take with food and beverage a healthy choice that is good for me. Honestly, I think that healthy food is true comfort food.

Honestly, when I started writing this, I wasn’t ready to post it on the blog because I was so shocked by it. I was just writing to get my thoughts out. But I’ve been thinking about this for about 30 minutes, and decided I’m going to post this because the healthy lifestyle/weight loss blogs that have inspired me the most are the ones where the blogger is totally honest. Do you remember Jewlia Goulia? She posted her weigh-ins weekly, and she lost over 100 pounds. She was really inspiring to me. So since I’m going on this weight-loss/healthiness journey, I’m going to post it too and be totally honest, and hopefully inspire another person in the process. She used to do Monday Weigh-Ins, so I will too.

So here goes.

I’m ready this time.